I’ll Always Be a Dreamer

I’ve been a dreamer for quite some time. Even now that my hair has a significant amount of white and my birth certificate is somewhat of an antique, I still have hopes and dreams. It’s honestly what keeps me going. When my sweet husband and I were young, he would try to bring me back to reality. He would list logistics and facts, to help me realize my dream was an impossibility. Basically trying to lesson the blow of any future disappointment. He is a kind and supportive man, and after a few years (and a little coaching), I think he realized it was just the way that I process and deal with life. Now, after 36 years, he dreams with me, and has learned to play the game well. At times, he will even embellish my dreams a bit to make them even better.

He supports me in my latest adventure of writing a blog. I’ve always enjoyed writing, interacting with people, and I have achieved expert status as an overthinker. As I enter a new phase in my life (which honestly, is my most exciting, explorative, and reflective phase), I decided that writing a blog would be a good outlet. Maybe it is just a declaration that I’m still here. Maybe it’s attempt to keep pushing forward and make every moment count. Or maybe I just thought that someone might relate with and share the feelings and thoughts that I am having. Or… maybe it just gives me something to do when I’m awake for 2 hours at 3 a.m.

After my kids left the nest, about a decade ago, it was quite a transition. It was even harder than I thought it would be! I wondered what my next role would be and felt a bit lost. It seems as you enter this confusing time, you are also inconveniently going through other challenges such as illness/death of parents, menopause (that’s a whole other blog post!), children’s problems and thoughts of your retirement fund. It can simply be overwhelming as you contemplate the future. In a way, it is similar to graduating high school, and trying to figure out your future. Except that you have way less future.

So, I like to think of the older examples in my life, who looked at the golden years as opportunities. They were of course responsible people, but they also had a lot of fun! I knew a lady in her 90’s that was taking college classes. I knew a group of dynamic elderly ladies, who loved socializing and going to basketball games together. I know another lovely woman who is able to travel a great deal and enjoys every trip. My brother volunteers at a food banks and also for an organization that benefits young single mothers. He finds fulfillment and purpose in those activities.

I’m fortunate enough to have good health, and so I’ve been blessed to see many dreams come to fruition. I was a rather late bloomer, but once I got started I couldn’t stop. I took piano lessons in my 30’s. It wasn’t until my 40’s when I returned to college and got a degree. In my 50’s I decided to become a massage therapist and a certified aromatherapist. Both of these endeavors required hundreds of hours. I then started my massage business, which I love. Now, in my mid 50’s I’ve decided to start this blog. Is it scary? Yes! Do I know what I’m doing? No! But do I love learning and continuing to gain experience? Yes! Besides, how old would I be if I didn’t try these things? Exactly. I would be the same age, without the acquired knowledge, training, challenges, and wonderful people I’ve met along the way.

We may not have control of how long we will be here. But we do have control over our attitude and what we accomplish while here. Living life to the fullest and enjoying the journey is something I will never regret. Getting to do it with people I love, well that to me, is heaven on earth.